偶尔

偶尔好想什么都不做就这样的浪费时间。

偶尔好想跟着心里所想的迈进奈何习惯跟随别人脚步的我时常违背心中想法背道而行，尽量满足别人的要求但心就越来越觉得不快乐。

偶尔好想不管别人会怎样想，随心所欲的忠于自己奈何习惯自我压抑的我，还是没能忠于自我。

偶尔好想侧下所有的责任好好的休息享受当小女人被人呵护，独立的背后是孤单不是吗？？？

偶尔好想放下一切到处流浪体会不同的地方风情但这一切需要好多的勇气而这我正好缺少的。

偶尔好想把自己大骂一场为何经过了这些年来还没学会放下，还是为了小事计较还是不明白妥协的道理，不明白坚持会造成的不快，不明白以和为贵，做人该圆滑些，随便些，因为不是每件事都只有黑与白的存在，别忘了灰色地带的存在。

偶尔好想为自己筹谋些什么但胸无大志的我真的想破了头皮还想不出我该做些什么让自己更好，习惯性把一切交给命运。无言呀！！！

偶尔好想让自己的生活更有规划拼命地为自己安排满满的行程让自己透不过气来太闲就爱胡思乱想，太忙又觉得无法呼吸，原来学会找平衡点也是一种学问，而我还在寻找着那平衡点。

偶尔好想向前走探搜但害怕受伤害的我时常让所有的情节在思绪里泛滥也不向前踏步，让一切止于天马行空。

偶尔好想叛逆一下体会一下不再管世事的眼光。但原来叛逆了我还是不开心因为我不懂那里才是我的终点。叛逆只是为了发泄内心的不忿，发泄后还是没法走出框框。

偶尔好想找一个没人的地方住下来但世上真的还有世外桃源吗？若有的话我有真的能那么幸运找到吗？

偶尔好想去揭开未来到底是怎么样的，迷信的我偶尔也会去求求签了解了解未来。得到好的签就开始怀疑真的吗？我有这样幸运吗？得到坏的签就开始悲观起来。人呀就是种矛盾的动物嘛！！！当然不包跨你在内了啦放心 =p

对对我懂你想说什么，我就是闲着没事做在这儿胡说八道。 7小时等飞机真的是很折磨哦。

Long or Short

It been two years blowfish never cut short her hair. Blowfish is have keep long hair since small and she only cut short her hair twice in her life time =p one time during Uni time and another one is back to 2007.

Why blowfish never cut short hair???

Since small all cousin having long hair and mom will help us tie our hair nicely. Still can remember all the style that mom help blowfish tie =p due to mom tie hair skill is not that good so by standard 6 blowfish start to tie herself =p (don laugh when u see standard6, due to blowfish have a thick hair really hard to tie it =p, u know la little gal ma don expect too much)


Ever since blowfish know how to tie hair she really like to learn how to tie new hairstyle follow the movie she watch =p don ask why as blowfish simply have interest in that. So blowfish keep a long2 hair until waist and can play around design hairstyle that blowfish like. Blowfish like those old fashion hair like in han dinasti =p due to this interest abit abnormal so normally blowfish only tie at home for sake of fun.


Blowfish never think of cut short her hair until uni time, she really get bored with her long hair. After taking long assessment + accumulate courage she go to cut short hair.


Why long assessment???
As u know blowfish have a round2 face really scare that short hair will show ppl the weakness(round2 face). However really boring with long hair + hair drop end up blowfish close her eye sit there and let the guy cut her hair.


End result = acceptable but yet everybody comment that short hair really show that blowfish have moon shape face =.= end up blowfish swear that in her lifetime wont cut short her hair anymore =p


Keep her hair for 1years ++ to get long, in order to make sure she wont get bored with her long hair so she perm her hair. At end of uni time blowfish din dare to simply tie her hair anymore really shy2 as a lot of ppl know blowfish due to this =.= and yes until now they still can remember blowfish due to her hairstyle.

First year in Uni, this hairstyle make ppl remember blowfish till now......

Start2 working, perm her hair to get a mature look =p guess more convincing ppl rather than tie hair right =p

Still remember that blowfish swear wont cut short hair anymore and here we go, she cut her hair short again due to boring la, hair loss la, want to try new thing la and bla.... bla.... bla....

Yaya Blowfish know blowfish is kind of fish like always change her thinking time to time =p

Tadaaa... Short hair version. Actually blowfish like this hairstyle but too many ppl comment say not nice and here we go blowfish keep back long hair. Change from straight hair to curl hair and now maintain.

Think it more like a cycle for blowfish. Cycle: Long -> straight -> Tie -> perm -> short feed back loop =p Now blowfish have perm her hair guess u all know what blowfish will do next =D

happy mother day

Happy mother day everyone.....
This year blowfish unable to celebrate mother's day with mom, guess sure mom boring there cox all her son and daughter is far2. Last time whenever mother's day POR blowfish will buy a cake for mom and buy a present for her secretly eventhough every year do the same guess secretly still means some surprise right??? =p hopefully. Blowfish heart feel full when see mom smiling when blowfish show her the surprise.

Blowfish think a celebration on mother's day is not really important as everything is more like a commercial thing. The most important is how u treat your mom and take care her in daily life. Blowfish feel sorry as blowfish is too far to take care mom and only can call tell mom that blowfish is very happy here everything is great to make mom less worry(eventhough blowfish know mom will still feel worry about her little gal that far2 away).

Each time call mom will start with:"how are u there? how your work stress or not? how your skin allergy ok or not" this routine wont change. Guess mom know blowfish well she know blowfish easily get stress, easily lost patient thus she worry her little gal in US not happy. Blowfish know all that thus blowfish try not to complain anything in front of mom just say everything is good, work like honeymoon, always travel everything is convenient.

Blowfish feel bad as well as unable to take care parents for half year. Normally blowfish will go home everyweek and accompany parent. Even just stay at home but yet i think that more than enough right. Old ppl just hope to see their children all around even children whole day watching movie =p. Every weekend blowfish will bring them out for dinner and shop grocery all this become routine. Now blowfish away for so long guess they sure cant get used to it. But no choice in order to earn more $$$ really need to sacrify abit.

Before blowfish fly to US, blowfish see mom hand pain cox of too dry yet she still do all the housework. Blowfish just ask to use mosturizer. When blowfish in US and hand get too dry and pain yet still need to do all the housework blowfish suddenly feel that actually all mom really sacrify a lot for family. In order to make sure the house is comfortable mom work from morning to night, in order to make sure her children not starve (especially for someone who have stomach wind)mom prepare food >3times a day and need to consider all the junk food for the children as well, in order to make sure children have a tidy look especially for those sensitive skin like blowfish mom will wash all the cloth till white and shine, in order to make her child skin recover faster every morning prepare a fresh orange juice for her and many many more.
Suddenly feel like crying.......
Yes blowfish miss her mom and her home. Really need to say thanks to mom who take care blowfish without feel tired and blowfish would like to say sorry as always make mom worry.
Blowfish love u mom however blowfish is typical gal who too shy to show her love. Blowfish just try her best to make sure her mom happy.

What i can do??? Cont'

Past one week blowfish feel down as feel scare of lost her best friend and feel stress with work and also ppl in US. Suddenly blowfish EQ drop to 0% doesnt want to talk with ppl just want to hide herself in somewhere there is nobody there. Sigh gal tend to have this kind of moody time.... and yes blowfish is one of them.

After hormone back to normal level, think back all the incident really feel that blowfish over react......For unagi case, actually he trying to give advice how to improve the presentation but blowfish take it negatively. Unagi just want blowfish appreciate the chance that blowfish have however blowfish take it as unagi say blowfish presentation very worse but that not the case unagi just want blowfish spend more time to make thing 100% perfect. Haiz when moody time heart tend to close up and doesnt not listen to ppl. End up blowfish start think all those not related topic like unagi angry with her la, unagi no more friend with her la. Now think back really feel sorry to unagi. Luckily he always patient with all blowfish mood and never really take this seriously. Blowfish feel so lucky to have him as friend who always help and giving blowfish advice. And yes blowfish doesnt lost this best friend.
New interpretation for best friend: a friend who always there for u, always listen to u, always support u no matter what(eventhough we sometime diff opinion)....

Yesterday blowfish lost her temper again cox of small matter.....
Story:
Blowfish follow group of 5 going to outlet last month and we agree to divide the petrol however the driver doesnt want to count it as he say it only small $$$ so we never bother about it. Until this week we plan to go outlet again he actually say that blowfish must go and must drive blowfish car and blowfish agree on this and comment that can give out car but she don want drive as not familiar with the route. However this plan being ding dong x2. So blowfish assume that this plan is not working. End up by 10sth of that night another gal ping blowfish say that organizer is expect blowfish go outlet tomorrow and bla... bla... bla.... a lot of story there which sound like organizer say that blowfish take advantage of him last time tis time must pay back. Blowfish listen to all this word and get piss off as blowfish already say she willingly let out the car why organizer still say until blowfish don want to take turn? Somor if organizer expect blowfish to drive he should communicate it to blowfish write cannot just assume right? Blowfish really feel confuse why business trip ppl earn less $$$ not calculative but opposite relo earn more $$$ and ppl become more calculative???
Start feel confuse for this easy matter.
Talk to unagi blowfish get some input and realize that blowfish too fast jump to conclusion and always listen to what ppl say.
Talk to miss tour guide, her opinion make blowfish feel comfort and no more confuse.

Thanks all for being patient to blowfish and help her fight her moody week :D

I wish....

While walking at Alamo(san antonio) last2 weekend, we see one wishing well there. Blowfish amazed by the over 100years tree.
Why amazed? This tree being move from somewhere to Alamo(cant remember from where =p don expect lazy fish to remember everything la =p) and if not mistaken it being move to Alamo by 1941. This tree being move as the originator want to prove to ppl that this can be done thus i think this tree might older than 100years. It branch really heavy and need to use thing to support it. Feel amazed as this tree have such long live even after change environment, weather....
Guess this is the spirit that we must learn from this tree to withstand all the life challenges.

There is a well next to the tree. However this well being closed d for what reason blowfish not sure. Seeing a lot coin down the well, surely blowfish don want miss the chance to make a wish.
What blowfish wish???
Certainly blowfish cant tell u all else if it cannot be realized how wo???
If u all willing to help her realized the dream than blowfish will happily share it with u :D
Dont worry blowfish dream is something easily can be achieved :D

Miss Independent

When u see this title what u will think of???

Miss have >1 meaning =p

Miss = Cik, 小姐，tang ke chi

Miss =kenang, 想，(not sure the term in indian =p)

So Blowfish u try to talk about the Miss independent or "Miss" independent?

Previously before go travel blowfish receive a Tshirt from friend and on the Tshirt printed Miss independent without think blowfish straight think the meaning is miss(想）Independent. For those wondering how the Tshirt don worry for sure blowfish wont let u keep wondering....

Once again blowfish so fast make conclusion without think any futher. Until one day blowfish watching singing contest and listen a song call "miss independent" only blowfish get to think miss independent also can means gal who is independent.

Too fast jump to conclusion will end up cant make a proper judgement. Beside that blowfish easily listen to ppl word and without massage the level of truth of the word and jump to conclusion haiz....... Most thing no right or wrong just different ppl different opinion and different thing that they particular. Think blowfish just need to learn not take thing too serious and make thing easy =D.

Blowfish really think she must change this always see thing from 360degree and more nasional when making judgement. Less talk think more.

US life is tuff as blowfish is all alone that why start to have emotional time + sensitive feeling however i do hope blowfish can swim thru all this and become a better person.

Lesson of the day

Since blowfish travel to US always feel stress, uneasy........
Why???
Before travel......
Feel worry to work with US ppl as from previous product have bad experience with them. Still remember that time blowfish still new to this area and feel afraid as know nothing luckily blowfish have other counterpart that is quite helpful and help blowfish build up the skill. For this new product blowfish need to work with same group of US ppl =.= feel worry as last time they really good in taichi just don care everything. The highest record blowfish work in floor from 5AM till 7PM......
Scary....

Reach US......
First few week in US blowfish like go thru honeymoon as blowfish just need to read thru all document familiar with the product with the US people work on the pattern part. However this sweet time pass very fast, after they up two of the pattern they straight throw all thing to blowfish and PG division =.= and they give reason for us to learn. Blowfish agree this the fastest way learning + grow depend how u handle this pressure. Blowfish successfully up one of the pattern and now moving to another one. However blowfish doesnt have luck on this new pattern and the due date is next tuesday =.= Start to feel pressure while don know what else she can do......

During today meeting.........(lesson of the day)
Manager start asking about the progress, due to PG division is busy handling hardware setup with module folks end up he actually request the US division do the pattern and without realize he make a statement kind of say that Us division doesnt share detail in front management......
Sweat***
The US division come and lecture him and tie blowfish in. In actual US division have put the file there just PG division not aware end up miscommunication happen causing this gap.
As conclusion: Dont simply say out a word that might sound like accuse ppl else can really can ruin thing.